


To Come Around and Show You How

by SnailArmy



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, Penumbra Podcast Pexchange 2016, first person because for some reason I can't write juno steel any other way, i tried to write shipfic i really did, ppp 2016, probably riddled with errors, there's rabbits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9086521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailArmy/pseuds/SnailArmy
Summary: Title from Tear in my Heart by 21p, and not especially relevant, but I couldn't think of anything better. 
2016 Secret Santa gift for Trashbaphomet on tumblr! Juno tries to have a nice evening with his "business partner." It goes about as well as you'd expect.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trashbaphomet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashbaphomet/gifts).



The spot we had agreed upon was perfect- a tiny outdoor café, hipster enough to be nearly empty even at the busiest time of day. I value my privacy, although no one else seems to, and let’s just say it would be better if no one recognized the man I was with. Nevertheless, he went to the counter and ordered while I picked a quiet-looking table in the corner. We’d known each other a few weeks, but I didn’t think I could memorize how that man took his coffee if I had a hundred years and a mind-enhancing pill. My own order was easy; black, to fit the brooding noir detective thing I had going on. I would add the cream and sugar myself, when no one was looking. Of course, there were one or two people who had seen past the hard-boiled persona I wore like a shield. 

Peter Nureyev was one of those people, though I had known him barely a week. He was a man with whom I shared many things, many of those against my better judgement. A case, a mask, a kiss… More than I had shared with anyone in a long time. The relationship wasn’t entirely one sided, though. He had shared with me his greatest secret- his name. I didn’t hold it against him. 

My musings were interrupted when my partner—business partner, I reminded myself—returned with a steaming mug in one hand and a taller cup topped with whipped cream and a syrup I could not identify in the other. Before he sat down I noted the name scribbled in sharpie on the cup. "Regius Lace,” it read. I could only imagine where he came up with that particular pretentious pen name. 

My phone buzzed as he took his first sip, and before I checked it I took a moment to note how his eyes closed in pleasure and his head tilted back ever so slightly, savoring the flavor of the drink. Business partner. In a few days he’d be gone. Again. 

I felt my phone vibrate one more, so I stole a glance at the screen. It was my secretary, Rita. From what I could tell she was updating me on the latest episode of her third-favorite reality TV show, and things were heating up. I knew this would not be a short conversation, so I silenced the text ringer and returned it to my coat pocket. I finally had Peter Nureyev in a quiet place without life-threatening circumstances, and I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I stumbled into the office, Nureyev hot on my heels, still laughing at my remark about the estranged Baroness. The date (business meeting…) had gone off without a hitch, so in retrospect I should have anticipated what was going to happen next. As we crossed the threshold, we were greeted by scores of rabbits in every shape and size, lounging about like they owned the place. They were on the desk, on the floor, through an open doorway I could even see them in the kitchen. Rita was standing in the middle of it all, holding several more in her arms (and one seated conspicuously on her head). She looked more frazzled than usual, though when she spotted Nureyev and I she let out a sigh. I could only assume it was one of relief, though her next words seemed to disprove that notion. 

“Mistah Steel! Where have you been!? I have been calling your phone for the past two hours, and you have been _ignoring_ me!!” 

“Rita, what the hell? Where did all of these rabbits come from?!”

“That’s what I was tryna tell you! There was this client, you see, and she got this gift for her girlfriend, and she needed somewhere to keep it and I was gonna call you and see if you could help but you didn’t answer and I panicked, you see, and it was too late to tell her no so I said-“

“Rita.” Though Nureyev was standing behind me, I could feel his smirk. “Was the gift by any chance a warren of rabbits?”

“…..Maayyybe.” She blushed a little and looked down at her shoes. “But I didn’t know that ‘til after they delivered them! I’m sorry, Mistah Steel.”

Nureyev had moved, seemingly unnoticed, to one side of the room and was already holding a rabbit, petting it gently behind the ears. Of course he was good with animals. Finally he spoke up. “Well, nothing to be done about it now but try to get them under control. If you two have anything for a make-shift pen, I can start to round them up. Ah, Rita, do you know how many there are exactly? We wouldn’t want to lose any.” 

“There’s thirty-seven, I counted while they brought them in!” I noticed she was too proud of herself for remembering that to question why “Rex Glass,” the special agent who stole the Kanagawa's death mask of and the keys to our safe, was back. A clever ploy on Nureyev’s part. It wasn’t hard to see why he was so good at stealing things, which shouldn’t have been attractive. And yet. 

The rest of the night consisted mainly of repurposing what little furniture we had to make a bunny-proof enclosure, and finding all thirty-seven rabbits, which would have been much harder without Nureyev’s help. It seemed like he knew the office better than we did, which was certainly troubling but I decided not to dwell on it. By the time we found the last one (snatched moments away from entering the air ducts), all three of us were exhausted. So, of course, that was the moment the client walked in. 

Covered in dust and rabbit fur as we were, we couldn’t have been a pretty sight, but she was happy enough to see us anyway. We got the rabbits into her car without a hitch and sent her on our way, with frankly less-than-adequate compensation for our troubles. It was enough to pay a bill or two, though, so I couldn’t bring myself to complain. With the main conflict gone, Nureyev couldn’t find an excuse to stay, and bowed out as well. I sat heavily on the waiting room couch, and considered contemplating the life choices that led me to where I was today. Luckily, I didn’t get the chance to. 

“So Mistah Steel, who was that handsome fella you brought home with you?” Rita had made herself comfy in her desk chair, and was now swiveling menacingly at me. 

“…To be honest, I’m not sure yet. But I’m hoping to find out.”

**Author's Note:**

> it's not great! it's pretty short! but i hope you enjoyed it!! maybe i'll add another chapter or something


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